How Rude !

 Okay  how rude is this my grandmother ( my father's ) mother said to me oh you promote losing weight and now look at you , you gain so much weight. 
OM Goodness if she was not my grandmother I would have cried , OK maybe not cried but I would have  shouted oh well whatever.
Her words pierced my soul and I felt ashamed and embarrassed and as usually made excuses.
This time I used a family crisis, I believe unlike all the times before this was a real excuse because in 2009 I had a major blow to the heart and I tumbled into a whirlwind with  food binges and food dates. You guess correctly I went back to my best friend ( Food )!
It got me through many depressed days and sorrowful nights. I know this is a cache but I didn't realize I was getting big until I weighed myself . I gain 35 pounds in less than 30 days. It was easy to gain but hard to lose. I spared no expense I brought the two for one ice cream  by the gallon. The 3 for 10 dollar cakes and the chips any and all 4 for 5 dollars. I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate some more. My pain never went away it was still there I wanted to get rid of my friend ( food ) but I couldn't I was in to deep and I had no way out. NO matter how hard I tried depression was tapping me on one shoulder and food was coming to my rescue. Grandma do you hear the words that are coming from the depth of my y heart I wanted to stop but I couldn't.  Now here I am as she stated heavier thinking of another master plan.
One thing I know for sure is that I am very unhappy heavy, big, obese. 
I no longer want food to be my friend and I need to solve this mystery, How did we become friends in the first place.
Holla @ your girl