July 19, 2010
July 14, 2010
Scared as Heck but I can not look back Now
237.4 lbs
AND losing my weigh in days are Monday and Thursday the good /bad and the ugly will be posted.
AND losing my weigh in days are Monday and Thursday the good /bad and the ugly will be posted.
July 05, 2010
Question Is
That could be me all green and holding a question mark in my hand. But not anymore I finally think this is it. For all of you who may have doubted me, I am just checking in; even though at times I doubted myself . I found out food was/is not the problem, it was me, I did not eat in moderation.Duh! Now I am having 7 to 10 small meals a day, a hell of a difference compared to the 10 to12 large meals I use to have a day. So the question is, will I stick with it. I'm goin have to say yes, there is no doubt in my mind this time because my heart and my mind are finally on the same page.
My long term goal is 200lbs, my short term goal is 15lbs in 60 days.
Keep up with me and my progress as I keep you post on my highs & lows.
Love the support and any feedback...... 
June 29, 2010
Today
Here what I am starting with today: 2 bowls of cereal, Cheerios. I need to lose weight, PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!
June 28, 2010
SALAD
Hi everybody, hope you are having a good day out there. I am back on this salad kick. Everybody needs to eat green to eat healthy. Hopefully I see the rewards for that. Today I had 2 bowls of Cheerios for breakfast. I just got done eating a salad with cucumber and chicken for lunch. I have some celery for later in case I get hungry. Hopefully this works and I stick to it. Please join me.
June 23, 2010
The Secret
I have not blogged in awhile but I am back with a vengeance because the secret was in front of my face the entire time. Afraid, scared you name it I had it because to be honest with you this was so clear to see that I over looked it. I was putting so much energy into eating let's see cakes, candy, fast food, cheese steaks, french fries and don't forget ice cream and chips and dip. That I did not have time to concentrate on anything else.
So I started looking around at other ppl and how and what they ate and what I saw shocked me. They spent more time eating healthy then, they did eating unhealthy. I saw someone eating rice cakes with peanut butter, tomatoes with ranch dressing. Snacks that would take about 2 minutes was like a task for me. But getting a burger and fries wasn't . So today I dedicated Healthy eating Wednesday just to see how much effort it would take me to fix a healthy lunch and dinner and three healthy snacks. I wanted to put as much energy into that as I did when I went to a fast food place.
Let's see I would stand in line for about 15 to 20 minutes. Get an attitude from the person behind the counter and my order would not be right. I was faithful to them too. No matter how many times my order was messed up, I would show up . Not today, I made a very healthy lunch , dinner and yes I had my rice cakes and peanut butter. Celery, carrots, cucumbers and pineapples. People were looking at me like I had four heads. I felt them staring too. It felt so good that I am going to do it again tomorrow. I need to give the same energy I had with the bad eating to healthy eating. Now that's the Secret.
Change a negative to a positive.
Till tomorrow
June 17, 2010
The Lil Girl with In
Inspired by a blog I read yesterday, I too decided to peel away some of the layers of drama that may/or may not have cause my down fall or weight gain. It may help me to understand this addiction more clearly and be informative to others . For what it is worth this is my story or at least part of the story. Drama takes awhile to tell so gear up for a couple of long reads.
When I was a little girl, and that is all I can remember I am searching for my childhood. I believe that my pain runs so deep beneath the skin that I have blocked it out. So I will start at my earliest memory I was about 11 years of age. And my mother was the cook in the family and we ate like we were down south . The pictures are pretty clear in my mind that I was very slim not even 110 lbs for as long as I could remember. I also know I ate everything that was served to me on a plate with no regards for my future. No one told me about childhood obesity or calorie counting.
As a teenager, I was rebellious surely it came from within and the more I fought against the grain(my mother) the more troubled I became. I wanted to be loved unconditionally and for years I had a yearning that something was missing. I latched on to different things and different ppl.
What does this have to do with helping you, funny as I am writing I am thinking the same thing. People are afraid of secrets or their past, however when reading about someone else past it allows a person to feel like their not alone. You too, may have a hurtful story, that has cause you to give up and give in to your addiction whatever it maybe. I am writing to tell you, that releasing it, will make you feel so much better getting to the root of the problem will be the key to the solution.
Till next time ......
Just maybe the answer to my obesity lies within
When I was a little girl, and that is all I can remember I am searching for my childhood. I believe that my pain runs so deep beneath the skin that I have blocked it out. So I will start at my earliest memory I was about 11 years of age. And my mother was the cook in the family and we ate like we were down south . The pictures are pretty clear in my mind that I was very slim not even 110 lbs for as long as I could remember. I also know I ate everything that was served to me on a plate with no regards for my future. No one told me about childhood obesity or calorie counting.
As a teenager, I was rebellious surely it came from within and the more I fought against the grain(my mother) the more troubled I became. I wanted to be loved unconditionally and for years I had a yearning that something was missing. I latched on to different things and different ppl.
What does this have to do with helping you, funny as I am writing I am thinking the same thing. People are afraid of secrets or their past, however when reading about someone else past it allows a person to feel like their not alone. You too, may have a hurtful story, that has cause you to give up and give in to your addiction whatever it maybe. I am writing to tell you, that releasing it, will make you feel so much better getting to the root of the problem will be the key to the solution.
Till next time ......
Just maybe the answer to my obesity lies within
June 16, 2010
Try Try Again
Don't give up. Even when you have a set back you must not give up. Try again. Tonight is going to be different. You can do it. Here is another motivation picture to help you. Nothing after 8:00. Do we have a deal?
A Lie is a Lie is a Lie
Who can I talk to, to fill this empty space? Who can I run to ?
At the end of everyday / night I have no one but me. I have no desire to blog which I should do by the way . My heart desire is to go to my favorite room and chill with about 2000 calories I often see a disaster before it happens. On Monday I binge and on Tuesdays I did the same thing. Only this time it was at 9pm instead of 8pm, like a hour made the difference I did the same thing.
I thought about doing something active so I turn on the television and watched a weight loss show. Which by the way did nothing for me. I am really out of control at night it is the worst feeling. In my mind I am thinking if I don't eat it all at night there will be none left for me in the the morning. I really need to stop thinking after 7pm because it seems to cause me more problems then eating .
My mind can't /or will not grasp the concept eat some now and save some for later. Eating it all and storing it into my body sounds like a better idea then leaving it in the refrigerator . Like leaving it in the refrigerator would be harmful, oppose to the harm that I am doing to my body .
A lie is a lie is a lie. My body is lying to me telling me that it is hungry when I just ate 1hour before . Well, I will continue to throw myself under the bus until I get this crap right. So two days binging lets see what tonight brings.
No, I am not preparing for the worst I am hoping either during my day there is a cure / or a method to this madness that I can adapt to.
Well until tomorrow I will post my weight as well .
Normally, I would say Holla @ your girl but even if you do it is still all up to me.
At the end of everyday / night I have no one but me. I have no desire to blog which I should do by the way . My heart desire is to go to my favorite room and chill with about 2000 calories I often see a disaster before it happens. On Monday I binge and on Tuesdays I did the same thing. Only this time it was at 9pm instead of 8pm, like a hour made the difference I did the same thing.
I thought about doing something active so I turn on the television and watched a weight loss show. Which by the way did nothing for me. I am really out of control at night it is the worst feeling. In my mind I am thinking if I don't eat it all at night there will be none left for me in the the morning. I really need to stop thinking after 7pm because it seems to cause me more problems then eating .
My mind can't /or will not grasp the concept eat some now and save some for later. Eating it all and storing it into my body sounds like a better idea then leaving it in the refrigerator . Like leaving it in the refrigerator would be harmful, oppose to the harm that I am doing to my body .
A lie is a lie is a lie. My body is lying to me telling me that it is hungry when I just ate 1hour before . Well, I will continue to throw myself under the bus until I get this crap right. So two days binging lets see what tonight brings.
No, I am not preparing for the worst I am hoping either during my day there is a cure / or a method to this madness that I can adapt to.
Well until tomorrow I will post my weight as well .
Normally, I would say Holla @ your girl but even if you do it is still all up to me.
June 15, 2010
I hear ya
I understand what you are saying. It is very difficult not to eat after a certain time. I feel that is the biggest downfall for some, including myself. How do I not eat after a certain time. We MUST not. We WILL not. Here is a picture to motivate me and you. We can do it.
WTF ?
Another binge what the fuck, I'm I trying to be the biggest gainer. Was I even listening when the guy said stop eating at 8pm. Well at 8pm I gain it a moment and as time past I thought well a little cake won't hurt so at 8:05 pm I ate again and again and again. I'm 238 pounds I'm throwing myself under the bus.
It seems at night I have some kind of license to binge. Overwhelmed at this point. It takes a week to two weeks to lost one pound and on the flip side it takes a DAY AND A NIGHT to gain it all back. Do I have to lock the refrigerator door. Has it come to that or do I have to any fight left in me.
I am a fighter and I don't give up easy so why oh why do I feel so defeated. I read blogs on how folks have lost the weight and how it feels good and what they are doing now. I understand and support each and everyone of them but them when a crisis hit who do you run .
In recovery for AA or NA it states remember where you come from / or you will be destiny to repeat.
I didn't remember I got relaxed I thought time and time again that I had this under control and that I could handle anything. I was getting boastful and cocky with it all the time.
Now look at me I want someone to feel sorry for me that I gain all my weight back. I deserve no pity.
So I going to post my weight again through out the week till I get down to a healthy weight.
My long term goal is to lose 50lbs .My short term goal is to lose 30lbs. Right now I just want to get out of these freaking 230's. Let's give a date that is only right - 90 days /10 pounds a month- 30 pounds down. Sounds good for someone who is in it to win it. But remember my old friend food.
And to add to that my track record is not good and I can't be trusted with food. I will not post anymore goals until I can achieve the first goal which is 8 pounds by July 10, 2010 that's three weeks.
I will check as often as I can to let you know how things are going.
Holla @ your girl
It seems at night I have some kind of license to binge. Overwhelmed at this point. It takes a week to two weeks to lost one pound and on the flip side it takes a DAY AND A NIGHT to gain it all back. Do I have to lock the refrigerator door. Has it come to that or do I have to any fight left in me.
I am a fighter and I don't give up easy so why oh why do I feel so defeated. I read blogs on how folks have lost the weight and how it feels good and what they are doing now. I understand and support each and everyone of them but them when a crisis hit who do you run .
In recovery for AA or NA it states remember where you come from / or you will be destiny to repeat.
I didn't remember I got relaxed I thought time and time again that I had this under control and that I could handle anything. I was getting boastful and cocky with it all the time.
Now look at me I want someone to feel sorry for me that I gain all my weight back. I deserve no pity.
So I going to post my weight again through out the week till I get down to a healthy weight.
My long term goal is to lose 50lbs .My short term goal is to lose 30lbs. Right now I just want to get out of these freaking 230's. Let's give a date that is only right - 90 days /10 pounds a month- 30 pounds down. Sounds good for someone who is in it to win it. But remember my old friend food.
And to add to that my track record is not good and I can't be trusted with food. I will not post anymore goals until I can achieve the first goal which is 8 pounds by July 10, 2010 that's three weeks.
I will check as often as I can to let you know how things are going.
Holla @ your girl
June 14, 2010
Richard Simmons
I remember years ago Richard Simmons, had several shows on TV about losing weight and sweating to the oldies . But only one sticks out to me the most.
The one where the lady has lost weight lots of it, and she states if only you knew what this feels like losing weight. She said if you could have a glimpse of what this feels like you would want to lose weight too.
I don't know the woman's name I don't even remember her face what I do remember is what she said. If you could feel how this feels you would want it. I want it, I want to know what if feels like to lose weight and not have to worry about the food or my consumption of it.
It consumes me checking my calorie intake, not being seen at family events afraid of what is on the menu. Not allowing anyone in my home that brings enough snacks to start up a small store.
Trying to stay clean is taking over me. If you ask why I fight so hard. Why won't I give up and give in my answer would be the same each time.
If I give up now I will die. MAYBE just maybe that is a little harsh, but I mean I will die of obesity if I don't fight like hell to stay healthy. What are you trying to stay clean from will you too die from your addiction.
You name it I've tried it
Okay so it is Monday and I must try yet another diet ( new way of life).
This is starting to get on my everlasting nerves because I know I must lose weight to be healthy. I even know what I need to do to stay healthy but there is a something, what I don't know holding me back. My inner voice is scream take care of me but my mind continues to go a stray.
There are detox centers all over the place but no cures.
I need the cure for obesity, I hear time and time again it is all in your mind. Well if it is there is a battle going on and I am losing control.
It sounds like we have been here before, and over and over again I seem to keep having the same meltdown. I don't have money for a quickie program or a get skinny quick diet. But I do have two legs and two good arms sort of so why don't I use those as my tools to fight the battle of the bulge.
Eating, sitting and get wide is all I have been doing lately.
Ok lets do a recap- You name it I've tried it.
I starved myself didn't work. When I came to my senses I ate two days worth of food in one sitting
I did the shakes oh the wonderful shakes they did work but I was still hungry so that idea was costly
Oh I have many more things I tried it will take all day. If you have any ideas or thoughts of how I can get my legs and my arms moving Please tell me .... I'll be waiting
This is starting to get on my everlasting nerves because I know I must lose weight to be healthy. I even know what I need to do to stay healthy but there is a something, what I don't know holding me back. My inner voice is scream take care of me but my mind continues to go a stray.
There are detox centers all over the place but no cures.
I need the cure for obesity, I hear time and time again it is all in your mind. Well if it is there is a battle going on and I am losing control.
It sounds like we have been here before, and over and over again I seem to keep having the same meltdown. I don't have money for a quickie program or a get skinny quick diet. But I do have two legs and two good arms sort of so why don't I use those as my tools to fight the battle of the bulge.
Eating, sitting and get wide is all I have been doing lately.
Ok lets do a recap- You name it I've tried it.
I starved myself didn't work. When I came to my senses I ate two days worth of food in one sitting
I did the shakes oh the wonderful shakes they did work but I was still hungry so that idea was costly
Oh I have many more things I tried it will take all day. If you have any ideas or thoughts of how I can get my legs and my arms moving Please tell me .... I'll be waiting
June 11, 2010
Clueless...
Today, was a very strange day so much so I need to tell somebody . I started my day at 8:30 am at my job and it ends daily at 5pm.
I would normally get a sandwich bacon, eggs and cheese on wheat with loads of butter, It was/is killing me slowly. Anyway, back to my day there will be no self beating in this post.
I covered someone else's area as I have done so many times before so eating, drinking and being merry was in the plans for me. However, this is what happen I am not fooling no one this is what really happen. I did not get hungry until 2:30 pm today and it was also so I could take medicine.
It left me CLUELESS as an food addict
I have not controlled myself since I don't know when, I am use to
eating every 5 minutes donuts, cakes, cheese steaks, pizza.
But today not even once did I think of food. It left me clueless and baffled why can't I do this every day. What happen today! What made today different from all other days.
CLUELESS, I SAY CLUELESS!
I would normally get a sandwich bacon, eggs and cheese on wheat with loads of butter, It was/is killing me slowly. Anyway, back to my day there will be no self beating in this post.
I covered someone else's area as I have done so many times before so eating, drinking and being merry was in the plans for me. However, this is what happen I am not fooling no one this is what really happen. I did not get hungry until 2:30 pm today and it was also so I could take medicine.
It left me CLUELESS as an food addict
I have not controlled myself since I don't know when, I am use to
eating every 5 minutes donuts, cakes, cheese steaks, pizza.
But today not even once did I think of food. It left me clueless and baffled why can't I do this every day. What happen today! What made today different from all other days.
CLUELESS, I SAY CLUELESS!
Control
You are in control and you can do it. The encouragement you need is there, I know and you know that you will succeed. There is no doubt in my mind that you will. It is always good to vent and write when you have that sinking feeling, so please continue. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!
June 10, 2010
I just want to ...
Scream & shout !
I AM TRIED OF FIGHTING THIS BATTLE!
Do I love the food more than, I love myself or do I love myself more than I love the food.
WHO IS IN CONTROL here !
Why does something I need to survive have so much control over me.
If you have answers please email me I need some encouragement .
Holla @ your girl
Don't Give Up
I know that it is sometimes hard to not do things. especially when it comes to eating. I, like a lot of you out there have trouble with this. I am constantly thinking about what to eat. It consumes me, it grabs hold of me. I understand how you can fall off the wagon, but you did and you have to get back on. Today we were treated with a sandwich at breakfast and o my God did it taste good. I am glad at lunch we agreed to take a little walk and have a fruit smoothie. They say great minds think alike and that is what we did. We will conquer this disease. Together, nothing can stop us.
DON'T GIVE UP!
DON'T GIVE UP!
What If .......
What if I really beat this disease?
It is a disease you know I can no longer hide
It grips me up and takes control of my insides
It is a very powerful urge, this is how it sounds in my mind.
Go ahead take two who is looking, one more we need one more scoop
I sometimes look around to see who the hell is it that is hovering over me encouraging me to eat.
And each time I look I get the same results it's me. It's the internal voices inside of me.
I can't calm it down and sometimes I can but those days that I can are very rare.
I need self help books in my life not to stop me from doing something crazy in my life but to help me not to eat myself to death.
OK if you have read all nine lines above this one you know by now I fell off the wagon again. I ate 700 calories in the matter of 10 minutes. After it was over sometimes I feel very guilty and eat again nope not me no Guilt! I didn't eat again only because I fell asleep.
So here it is Thursday our biggest loser weigh-in and I have lost how much . Let's do the math 4 scoops of ice cream two packs of cakes @ 250 calories a piece. How much did I lose I WILL WAIT FOR THE ANSWER.
Until then I will get on the wagon and shamefully admit my guilt no I am not defeated yet because I have the nerve to want to try again.
Holla @ your girl.
It is a disease you know I can no longer hide
It grips me up and takes control of my insides
It is a very powerful urge, this is how it sounds in my mind.
Go ahead take two who is looking, one more we need one more scoop
I sometimes look around to see who the hell is it that is hovering over me encouraging me to eat.
And each time I look I get the same results it's me. It's the internal voices inside of me.
I can't calm it down and sometimes I can but those days that I can are very rare.
I need self help books in my life not to stop me from doing something crazy in my life but to help me not to eat myself to death.
OK if you have read all nine lines above this one you know by now I fell off the wagon again. I ate 700 calories in the matter of 10 minutes. After it was over sometimes I feel very guilty and eat again nope not me no Guilt! I didn't eat again only because I fell asleep.
So here it is Thursday our biggest loser weigh-in and I have lost how much . Let's do the math 4 scoops of ice cream two packs of cakes @ 250 calories a piece. How much did I lose I WILL WAIT FOR THE ANSWER.
Until then I will get on the wagon and shamefully admit my guilt no I am not defeated yet because I have the nerve to want to try again.
Holla @ your girl.
June 09, 2010
Insanity
What is insanity ! I will tell you even though I know for sure there are many different descriptions or definitions. I recently hear from a television show that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again.
And expecting a different results / outcome each time.
Very interesting because I don't want to be rude to ppl but I don't want to be a ppl pleaser either.
My weight gain and state of mind are in jeopardy I must find a end to this madness.
I may need some true friends, and ones who are not into ppl pleaser's oh yeah and they must be grounded roots.
You know someone who will stick by you no matter , hold on to you through thick and thin and will not talk
about you / behind your back.I also need some thicker skin, every little pinch should not hurt all the time.
Now that I got that off my chest let me tell you about my weight loss none ( zero, nothing yet ! ) its only been a week come on now it takes at least nine weeks to see results. haha
For now I am sticking with it and it's for me not my granny
xoxoxxoxoxox
Talk with you soon
P.S.
I had cake and ice cream not enough to complain about enough to confess.
And expecting a different results / outcome each time.
Very interesting because I don't want to be rude to ppl but I don't want to be a ppl pleaser either.
My weight gain and state of mind are in jeopardy I must find a end to this madness.
I may need some true friends, and ones who are not into ppl pleaser's oh yeah and they must be grounded roots.
You know someone who will stick by you no matter , hold on to you through thick and thin and will not talk
about you / behind your back.I also need some thicker skin, every little pinch should not hurt all the time.
Now that I got that off my chest let me tell you about my weight loss none ( zero, nothing yet ! ) its only been a week come on now it takes at least nine weeks to see results. haha
For now I am sticking with it and it's for me not my granny
xoxoxxoxoxox
Talk with you soon
P.S.
I had cake and ice cream not enough to complain about enough to confess.
June 07, 2010
How Rude !
Okay how rude is this my grandmother ( my father's ) mother said to me oh you promote losing weight and now look at you , you gain so much weight.
OM Goodness if she was not my grandmother I would have cried , OK maybe not cried but I would have shouted oh well whatever.
Her words pierced my soul and I felt ashamed and embarrassed and as usually made excuses.
This time I used a family crisis, I believe unlike all the times before this was a real excuse because in 2009 I had a major blow to the heart and I tumbled into a whirlwind with food binges and food dates. You guess correctly I went back to my best friend ( Food )!
It got me through many depressed days and sorrowful nights. I know this is a cache but I didn't realize I was getting big until I weighed myself . I gain 35 pounds in less than 30 days. It was easy to gain but hard to lose. I spared no expense I brought the two for one ice cream by the gallon. The 3 for 10 dollar cakes and the chips any and all 4 for 5 dollars. I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate some more. My pain never went away it was still there I wanted to get rid of my friend ( food ) but I couldn't I was in to deep and I had no way out. NO matter how hard I tried depression was tapping me on one shoulder and food was coming to my rescue. Grandma do you hear the words that are coming from the depth of my y heart I wanted to stop but I couldn't. Now here I am as she stated heavier thinking of another master plan.
One thing I know for sure is that I am very unhappy heavy, big, obese.
I no longer want food to be my friend and I need to solve this mystery, How did we become friends in the first place.
Holla @ your girl
OM Goodness if she was not my grandmother I would have cried , OK maybe not cried but I would have shouted oh well whatever.
Her words pierced my soul and I felt ashamed and embarrassed and as usually made excuses.
This time I used a family crisis, I believe unlike all the times before this was a real excuse because in 2009 I had a major blow to the heart and I tumbled into a whirlwind with food binges and food dates. You guess correctly I went back to my best friend ( Food )!
It got me through many depressed days and sorrowful nights. I know this is a cache but I didn't realize I was getting big until I weighed myself . I gain 35 pounds in less than 30 days. It was easy to gain but hard to lose. I spared no expense I brought the two for one ice cream by the gallon. The 3 for 10 dollar cakes and the chips any and all 4 for 5 dollars. I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate some more. My pain never went away it was still there I wanted to get rid of my friend ( food ) but I couldn't I was in to deep and I had no way out. NO matter how hard I tried depression was tapping me on one shoulder and food was coming to my rescue. Grandma do you hear the words that are coming from the depth of my y heart I wanted to stop but I couldn't. Now here I am as she stated heavier thinking of another master plan.
One thing I know for sure is that I am very unhappy heavy, big, obese.
I no longer want food to be my friend and I need to solve this mystery, How did we become friends in the first place.
Holla @ your girl
New Plan
Just checking in to see how the new plan is coming along. Sticking with this plan should give you the results that you are looking for. I am rooting for you and know you can do it.
June 04, 2010
I got another Plan
Read & Cross your Fingers
I got high hopes and a new plan who can ask for anything more. I think this is plan number 1million and five.
But whose counting right, I have on pants today so maybe just maybe that has something to do with my new attitude. I need to lose a quick 30 lbs and it will not be easy and this plan may back fire and I may change my mind in a instance. But heck with all that negative talk two lines up, I am moving forward with my plan. So I am going to lay it all out for you to see and read . Either I will blog in a few days good news or blog that this plan 1 million and six failed like all the plans before.
Read carefully it may get deep
Breakfast -Protein shake
Lunch - 700 calories
Dinner - Protien shake
This is day one and I will stay on this plan for 30 days so from June 4, through \ and including July 4, 2010 .
xoxoxox
From the Confessions of a Food Addict
I got high hopes and a new plan who can ask for anything more. I think this is plan number 1million and five.
But whose counting right, I have on pants today so maybe just maybe that has something to do with my new attitude. I need to lose a quick 30 lbs and it will not be easy and this plan may back fire and I may change my mind in a instance. But heck with all that negative talk two lines up, I am moving forward with my plan. So I am going to lay it all out for you to see and read . Either I will blog in a few days good news or blog that this plan 1 million and six failed like all the plans before.
Read carefully it may get deep
Breakfast -Protein shake
Lunch - 700 calories
Dinner - Protien shake
This is day one and I will stay on this plan for 30 days so from June 4, through \ and including July 4, 2010 .
xoxoxox
From the Confessions of a Food Addict
June 03, 2010
Laid them all to Rest
Okay,
I may write your eyes off but I have a lot to say and boy oh boy this is a good place to let it all out.
I pick out my clothes to wear to work the night before so I was kind of hype. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me explain I was all set to leave for work I had picked out a dress the night before so everything seem to be fitting me just fine up until I got on the bus. For some reason when I sat down my dress seem to be fitting very snugged. I had 20 minutes to get to work I was not turning back now. All day I pull it down and stay out of the way at work so no one but me would notice that I had on the tightest dress in my closet.
Needless to say everyone call me and I had to do this and do that so people saw what I saw a women looking like a whale in a blue dress. At the end of my work day I had a little self hatred going on if I could have screamed at my self I would have said why did you wear that dress and when the hell are you taking it off. I did something better I took all of my dresses out of my closet and I laid them all to Rest. Never to be worn again. Until I make up my mind, either I am going to lose the weight or die trying .
Only I can decide...... Talk to me what would you choose.
Holla @ your girl
I may write your eyes off but I have a lot to say and boy oh boy this is a good place to let it all out.
I pick out my clothes to wear to work the night before so I was kind of hype. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me explain I was all set to leave for work I had picked out a dress the night before so everything seem to be fitting me just fine up until I got on the bus. For some reason when I sat down my dress seem to be fitting very snugged. I had 20 minutes to get to work I was not turning back now. All day I pull it down and stay out of the way at work so no one but me would notice that I had on the tightest dress in my closet.
Needless to say everyone call me and I had to do this and do that so people saw what I saw a women looking like a whale in a blue dress. At the end of my work day I had a little self hatred going on if I could have screamed at my self I would have said why did you wear that dress and when the hell are you taking it off. I did something better I took all of my dresses out of my closet and I laid them all to Rest. Never to be worn again. Until I make up my mind, either I am going to lose the weight or die trying .
Only I can decide...... Talk to me what would you choose.
Holla @ your girl
June 02, 2010
Not Again!
OMG !!!!
As you may have realize by now, I disappear when I fall off the wagon. I am afraid , fearful and ashamed of myself. I have master running away when times get hard and I need understanding (sings like a song to me).
But recently, and I mean recently, I have been reading up on my self-help books. And after just a couple of chapters I feel empowered and strong enough to tackle any addiction. Well in my case it would be (food). The biggest culprits are Fast food, quick foods and unhealthy snacks.
I am not even close to finishing my self-help book, but as I am reading, something sticks out to me on every page. You are important ! That would mean, I am important to me!!!!
It goes on to say admit you are an addict, whether it be food addict, drug addict, shopping addict, etc.
And that you have enablers; acknowledge your enablers and cut them off.
There will no progress until you do.
Wow sounds like I learn alot from those few chapters.
Confessions From a Food Addict.
I guess I have to be the first to admit it, I am a food addict.
I acknowledge my enablers and I am in the process of cutting them off. Those damn pizza's, cheese steaks and french fries, and what about that ice cream, cake and cookies. dag gone it . I am going to let them all go very shorty.
I MEAN IT !!!!!!!!
Holla @ your girl
As you may have realize by now, I disappear when I fall off the wagon. I am afraid , fearful and ashamed of myself. I have master running away when times get hard and I need understanding (sings like a song to me).
But recently, and I mean recently, I have been reading up on my self-help books. And after just a couple of chapters I feel empowered and strong enough to tackle any addiction. Well in my case it would be (food). The biggest culprits are Fast food, quick foods and unhealthy snacks.
I am not even close to finishing my self-help book, but as I am reading, something sticks out to me on every page. You are important ! That would mean, I am important to me!!!!
It goes on to say admit you are an addict, whether it be food addict, drug addict, shopping addict, etc.
And that you have enablers; acknowledge your enablers and cut them off.
There will no progress until you do.
Wow sounds like I learn alot from those few chapters.
Confessions From a Food Addict.
I guess I have to be the first to admit it, I am a food addict.
I acknowledge my enablers and I am in the process of cutting them off. Those damn pizza's, cheese steaks and french fries, and what about that ice cream, cake and cookies. dag gone it . I am going to let them all go very shorty.
I MEAN IT !!!!!!!!
Holla @ your girl
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