This morning I have been up since 4am trying to clear my mind and come to grips with this last relapse. I know I should move on and forget the past and stand strong in the present . But I can't there are so many unanswered questions that are hindering me from moving on. Such as why did I relapse, what makes this relapse different.
Personally I believe this time I hurt more than just myself . The disappointment on ppl faces when I told the truth about me recurring addiction, can't be erase from my mind. Food is a very powerful substance if not content or controlled properly and even can become your worst enemy. My heart and my mind are in a serious battle they don't agree on what is good for me but insist on bring my body down to there unhealthy level.
Relapsing for me is like committing food suicide it has deadly consequences. I've been here before emotionally, and mentally and did my sobriety and clean up quick This time it is not that easy the pain in my heart that has recently surface has lead me to rely on my old friend comfort food.
This could be another excuse to continue or the true reasoning for my spiral downfall. For whatever reason or source of the pain I have to nip it in the bud. And then and only then can I regain my dignity because right now I am a food addict exposed .
Holla @ your girl
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