Confessions of A Food Addict

When did I become an addict? When did I know that this was a disease?

How did I know it was an addiction?

I am now ready to confess. This will help me in my recovery. I wish I could blame this all on my up bringing or say it's my parents fault. It sounds good to blame someone else for my mistakes or my destructive behavior or my fascination with food. I can't narrow this down to a day or an hour that this happen. All I know is the feeling I got when the food touch my lips, went onto my tongue, and down my throat and passed into my stomach.OMG! What a high it was an internal high. I wanted it again and again and again. I've been eating every since, chasing that same high when I ate chicken , pies, cakes, pizza, chips that is just to name a few. I felt a release in my brain of relaxation and contentment and happiness and warmth.That lasted as long as the food lasted and when that food was gone. I became depressed, withdraw and afraid of facing the reality that I was out of control.Eating became my addiction! I ate so I could not feel the pain or the depression that followed. I made excuses for why I binge . The thrill of knowing that I was eating gave me great joy and pleasure. I couldn't stop. Sneaking eating behind cars hiding food in the couch till everyone who was anyone was alsleep lying deceiving others by telling them that I am losing weight or I will get help with my problems. Then sneaking off as soon as I was alone again to get my high on. Bags and bags of chips making trips and trips to the corner store that stayed open just for me. I remember they were closing one night and the guy pulled the gate down. I stood out there and begged him like a fend to open the door. He did but he call me a food junkie as I ran through the store getting my midnight snack chips, ice cream and a drink and two cakes that sometimes held me over till the next morning. From that day on he closed the store after I got my midnight snack. Until even that didn't satisfy me anymore I need and craved more food.Crying out loud but this is my confession.

Do you understand if so email me...